One thing I discovered in each of my postpartum journeys was how important being honest with ourselves is when we are learning to cope with all the changes.
So much of the postpartum journey has to do with how we handle all the changes thrown at us. A new baby is only one aspect of the transition into motherhood. We also have a new body, a new mindset, a new schedule, and many other things. One thing I discovered in each of my postpartum journeys was how important being honest with ourselves is when we are learning to cope with all the changes. If we are not honest with ourselves about what we need in the day to day, for example, we can easily end up skipping meals and showers, which, let’s be honest, doesn’t lead to anything good.
Being Honest With Yourself and Others
I grew up in the Southern part of America where manners and smiles are high on the value list. While I loved growing up there, living away from it for so long now has made me realise there’s a big difference between being polite and faking polite. There’s an understanding in the South that if someone says “bless their heart” or “bless your heart” after a statement, they are usually saying something unkind or brutally honest but want to coat it in a sweet phrase to make it sound like they aren’t trying to be mean (when, oftentimes, they are). If things are uncomfortable, they are avoided. I have even known the unspoken rule that you are allowed to flat out lie and say someone can come over anytime when you certainly don’t actually mean they can come over anytime. And so, when my first chunky baby was born, I didn’t actually understand much about being honest with myself, much less others. I knew I had strong feelings about things, but I didn’t always know where they were coming from or perhaps what the underlying emotion was. My first weeks as a mom were spent forgetting to eat and shower, being so anxious the baby would stop breathing that I couldn’t sleep even when he slept, and pushing myself to breastfeed even though it was affecting my mental health to try.
If I was honest with myself and others postpartum, I would have taken a shower every day and eaten often. If I was honest with myself and others, I would have been able to express that things were not as blissful as they seemed. When we are honest with ourselves, we can be honest with others. When we are honest with others, our relationships and support network grow. Needs are met, love tanks are filled, cups overflow, and families are happier.
Friend, I don’t know what you need to be honest about today. Honesty takes bravery, and you know what? I believe you are brave. If you’re not sure what you need, maybe find 5 minutes to journal or call that friend you haven’t talked to in awhile and talk it out with them. Figure out what you need in the day to day, whether you are a new or seasoned mom, and the pieces will start to fall into place.
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